What Would Jesus Hate?

Jesus. Ok, so I loved him in Top Gun even though I know they made him wear platform shoes so nobody would notice he was 5′ 2″. He was also pretty good in that one where he rides around in a cab with the guy from Booty Call. But ever since he joined that cult, he’s been going downhill. And now that he’s a daddy, he’s going even more googa-mental than Eminem (when he started whining about Haley in every song). Apparently they recently invited Posh and Becks to come behold the baby, but laid down some crazy ass rules like “don’t touch it or talk to it”. I remember when I was born, Joe was like “just don’t let your camel eat it, but other than that, whatever.” Hell, one of the wise men totally spilled some hot myrrh on me when he tripped over one of the sheep. Even though his gift was way lamer than gold, I let it go. Such is the way of Jesus.