What Would Jesus Hate?

Since when did it become cool to wear sandals made out of rubber? You never saw Steve Erwin or Ghandi donning a pear of neon waffle stompers. And one of them actually hunted crocs! In my day, we made sandals out of reeds, cowhide, and Elmer’s glue. And they chaffed like the Dickens. “Raw feet make good penance,” my dad always said. Did you know you can make your very own crocs? Find a tire, or take if off the nearest Hyundai, put it on the oven, throw in a few condoms and melt them until they looks somewhat like shoe, poke some holes in it with a skewer. Take it out, put it on your feet. Voila! Now you can walk down the street until I strike you with a lightning bolt for looking like a fashionless douchebag. Preach on, brother!